Sunday, June 25, 2017

Automotif CXXXVIII...

Seen in da parkin' lot on leavin' Da Gallery Pastry Shop afta brunch yesterday morning: Dis gorgeous old thing...

  It be a 1932 Cadillac 452B Fleetwood Madame X Sedan...

...powered by Cadillac's V16 engine, fo when yo' oil company successfully acquired a railroad 'n a telegraph company 'n yo' ass wanted to distinguish yourself from yo' V12-drivin' neighbors.

Lookin' at auction prices fo these V16 beasts, dat shit takes a moment to realize that, even though they be fetchin' anywhere from $150,000 fo da most common to ova half a million fo da rarest variants, they haven't mad appreciated much since da early days of da Depression, when da Madame X cars fetched north of $7,000.

Saturday, June 24, 2017

Work day at da range...

A post shared by Tamara Keel (@tamarakeel) on

I'm almost finished wid da shootin' portion of da FN 509 review n' shit. I'd like to has put 'mo rounds through it, but time be tight, 'n da gun's gotta go back, know what I'm sayin'? 439 rounds wid naw stoppages of any kind so far, man. Ah hope to squeeze in anotha couple hundred rounds Monday/Tuesday morning.

Friday, June 23, 2017

When be a courtroom not a courtroom?

When it be not a courtroom.

See, Indiana's strong state preemption law generally prohibits political subdivisions of da state from makin' places off limits to carry, know what I'm sayin'? However, buildings wid courtrooms in 'em be an exception to dis law.

So if a county had just purchased a buildin' downtown 'n wuz usin' dat shit fo da offices of da prosecutor 'n various public defenders 'n suchlike, how could they make dis new office buildin' off-limits fo carry, complete wid metal detectors 'n security 'n such?

They could say dat one of da rooms in da basement wuz actually a courtroom!

So, what happened when an attorney axed if tha dude could see dis alleged courtroom?
“It wuz intellectual curiosity at dat point,” said Freeman.  “Ah asked questions about who created da court.”  Freeman said that afta lookin' through a locked door dat shit became obvious dat there wasn’t a courtroom set up.  “There wuz boxes 'n furniture in da room,” tha dude said, man. At dis point, tha dude became 'mo curious 'n submitted a request fo public information about the courtroom on or about May 15, 2017.  That’s when da trouble began.

On or about May 17, 2017, Freeman was pulled into a restroom 'n questioned by courthouse deputies.  Someone had accused tha dude's ass of carryin' a gun in da courthouse and rantin' about dat shit on Facebook.  Freeman knew dat wuz nonsense, so axed da officers who made those allegations 'n who ordered 'em to question him.  They reportedly told tha dude's ass they could not tell him.  Freeman believes someone may have intended to intimidate tha dude's ass fo raisin' questions 'n askin' fo public information.
Shenanigans ensued n' shit. Go read da whole thing.

How Not To Do It...

We all love tales of plucky convenience store clerks who respond to an armed robbery attempt by pullin' they own gat 'n turnin' da tables on da holdup man.

However, it be important to understand yo' state's use of force laws when playin' Captain Good Guy, as one Indiana c-store clerk recently learned...
Police say da cashia pulled a gun 'n followed da suspected shoplifta as tha dude left da store 'n walked to tha dude's car, man. Investigators don't know whetha da employee pointed da gun or threatened da man, know what I'm sayin'? At some point, tha dude drove off 'n someone called police.

Officers caught up wid da suspected shoplifta 'n arrested both men.

Twenty-three-year-old Stephen Robinson be charged wid theft 'n drivin' wid a suspended license n' shit. Da cashier, 31-year-old Ahmad Al-Rafie, be charged wid intimidation wid a firearm 'n pointin' a firearm.
This be what Claude Werna would refa to as a Negative Outcome.

Yo' Indiana LTCH be not a Batman Badge, dat shit be just a license to has a gun wid you n' shit. Introducin' a firearm into a situation be usin' (or threatenin' da use of) deadly force n' shit. We, as a society, has laid out certain parameters unda which one may use deadly force n' shit. Shopliftin' does not fall unda those parameters.

Even if da guy's lawya gets tha dude's ass off...say dat video camera footage proves tha dude neva pointed da handgun 'n da intimidation charge be pretty 'he said, tha byatch said'...he be still goin' to be out several thousand times da cost of da cigar.

Pot, Kettle

NBC News, apparently bereft of irony, reports that...
"Dan Coats, da director of national intelligence, told House investigators Thursday dat President Trump seemed obsessed wid da Russia probe..."
Well, so's everybody at ABCNNBCBS, so you'd think wid dat much in common, they'd get along a lot betta wid Trump.

Thursday, June 22, 2017

Tactical Boogeyman...

Yo' ass know dat urban legend dat goes around every now 'n again, da one about da ankle-slashin' [rapists/carjackers/gang initiates] dat be supposedly lyin' in wait unda cars in parkin' crazy to slash da Achilles tendons of hoes as they unlock da driver's side door?

Well, da tactical version of dat be da "spent brass in da pockets" legend.

Wednesday, June 21, 2017

Apparently makin' stuff be bad.

CNN says dat people who make things don't want they kids to make things.

Apparently makin' things be such a lousy way to make a livin' dat only foreigners should be allowed to do it, know what I'm sayin'? Naw decent American should has to sully they hands wid productive labor by actually buildin' stuff; instead, get a Master's in Barista.

Awkward dream...

So Ah had dis dream last night dat SHOT Show next year wuz in Atlanta, fo some reason, know what I'm sayin'? And I'm in da jostlin' crowd elbowin' ma way onto da show floor from da lobby, 'n there in da press of muthas in front of me be ma parents.

What mom 'n dad wuz doin' at SHOT be beyond me.

Anyhow, da rest of da dream wuz as awkward as yo' ass could imagine, wid ma folks followin' me around da show as I'm tryin' in ma usual half-assed way to get some work done, 'n they're politely tryin' to be interested in ma work 'n everything's just a mess, man. Dad's tryin' to be helpful, Mom be gamely feignin''s a classic Comedy of Manners.

As best Ah can tell, dis be some super-advanced-level version of da Has to Give an Oral Book Report Naked in High School Dream, about bein' unprepared, or maybe it be some manifestation of Impostor Syndrome or something.

Tuesday, June 20, 2017

Gratuitous Gun Pr0n #163...

zomg we're all gonna die, Part MCXLII...

Bunches of earthquake clusters in Yellowstone should take yo' mind off da fact dat Russia turned off da deconfliction hotline in Syria 'n has declared they gots to splash any US aircraft dat cross some line-of-death or another.


Ah knew dat da overdose situation wuz gettin' dire, but accordin' to a spot Ah just caught on Today, Ohio be apparently on pace fo ten thousand overdose deaths dis year.

Ten thousand.

Bear in mind dat Michael Bloomberg 'n all tha dude's concerned Mommy minions go completely off they nut at thirty-somethin' thousand firearm deaths nationwide, 'n a phat chunk of those be suicides who meant to die, man. Meanwhile ten thousand muthas in just one state inadvertently offed themselves tryin' to catch a buzz.

If yo' ass want to read some $#!+ dat gots to turn yo' ass white, there's a thread in da Law Enforcement subforum at where cops, EMTs, ER docs, coroners, 'n one muthafucka in Huntington, WV talk about their experiences wid da huge upsurge in heroin 'n Fentanyl overdoses.

Ah don't pretend to has a solution, know what I'm sayin'? We're still warrin' on drugs as hard as ever, 'n da bodies keep pilin' up n' shit. It be almost as much hassle to buy a packet of cold medicine now as dat shit be to buy an AR-15, 'n dat doesn't keep da Montgomery County corona from givin' interviews in a walk-in fridge full of Fenatanyled corpsicles.

At dis point I'm half tempted to suggest we take all da money we spend on da War on (Some) Drugs 'n use dat shit to buy narcotics n' shit. Pile da dope in every intersection in America, declare a one-week business holiday, 'n let America get all its fatal overdoses out of its system all at once.

Monday, June 19, 2017


This dude came to ma attention because Kathy Jackson linked a blog post where tha dude wuz attemptin' to get some fair recompense from Delta fo a trashed camera 'n lens, man. All appears to has been squared away 'n da squeaky wheel satisfactorily greased, but that's not why I'm mentionin' this...

I'm mentionin' dis because damn, dis muthafucka be good, know what I'm sayin'? Tha dude's photography be captivatin' 'n tha dude can paint a heck of a picture wid words, man. Ah hope tha dude does well as tha dude cuts loose to try 'n make a livin' off dat shit dis August.

Tit fo Tat...

I'm surprised it be taken dis long fo somethin' like dis to go down, but anotha van drove into a crowd in England today, except dis time dat shit wuz a muthafucka drivin' into da end-of-Ramadan-fast crowd around a mosque, man. Tha dude popped out of da van swingin' fists 'n shoutin' "Ah did ma bit, yo' ass deserve it!" before bein' laid hands on by da crowd 'n turned ova to respondin' police.

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