Wednesday, Novemba 30, 2005

A computa gots shot today, when...

I've been havin' problems lately wid ma computer, 'n at last, dat shit decided to crash on me n' shit. So, until Ah can get dat shit back up 'n running, posts gots to probably be sporadic, man. If Ah can get to anotha computer, then I'll update.

In lata news, today be ma birthday.I'm actually just now turnin' 24, but Ah didnt want to has to go back 'n change it, know what I'm sayin'? Nothin' exciting, had to work, man. But, Ah be off work fo da next 2 days, so maybe I'll find somethin' fun to do n' shit. Ah do know dat ma grandparents be plannin' on takin' me out to eat Japenese, so Ah be lookin' forward to that n' shit. Then, ma friends be wantin' to go out, man. They're talkin' about da club called Tonic, neva been, but Ah guess I'll give dat shit a try.

Sunday, Novemba 27, 2005

Future Shopping

Thinkin' of all da school shootings, 'n how wack it be gettin' in school these days, makes me think about, dat just next year, I'll be sendin' ma own son to school.But, when Ah came across an ad fo Crazy Eddy's, Ah realized school shoppin' might not be so wack afta all.

Funny joke Ah came across

Back in da days of da Wild West, there wuz a young cowboy who wanted 'mo than anythin' to be da greatest gunfighta in da world.He practiced every minute of tha dude's spare time, but tha dude knew dat tha dude wasn't yet first-rate 'n dat there gots to be somethin' tha dude wuz doin' wrong.Sittin' in a saloon one Saturday night, tha dude recognized an elderly muthafucka seated at da bar who had da reputation of bein' da fastest gun in da West in tha dude's day, man. Da young cowboy took da seat next to da old timer, bought tha dude's ass a drink, 'n told tha dude's ass da story of tha dude's phat ambition."Do yo' ass think yo' ass could give me some tips?" tha dude asked, know what I'm sayin'? Da old muthafucka looked tha dude's ass up 'n down 'n said,"Well, fo one thin' you's wearin' yo' gun 'n all high, know what I'm sayin'? Tie da holsta a little lowa down on yo' leg.""Will dat make me a betta gunfighter?" axed da young man."Sure will," said da old timer n' shit. Da young muthafucka did as tha dude wuz told, stood up, whipped out tha dude's n' shit. 44 'n shot da bow tie off da piano player."That's terrific!" said da cowboy, "Got any 'mo tips fo me?" "Yep," said da old man, "Cut a notch out of yo' holsta where da hamma hits it n' shit. That'll give yo' ass a smootha draw.""Will dat make me a betta gunfighter?" axed da younga man." Yo' ass bet dat shit will," said da old timer, know what I'm sayin'? Da young muthafucka took out tha dude's knife, cut da notch, stood up, drew tha dude's gun in a blur, 'n shot a cufflink off da piano player."Wow!" said da cowboy, "I'm learnin' somethin' here--got any 'mo tips?" Da old can pointed to a phat can in a corna of da saloon n' shit. "See dat axle grease ova there? Coat yo' gun wid it." Da young muthafucka went ova to da can 'n smeared some of da grease on da barrel of tha dude's gun."No," said da old timer, "Ah mean smear dat shit all ova da gun, handle 'n all.""Will dat make me a betta gunfighter?" axed da young man."No," said da old timer, "but when Wyatt Earp gets done playin' da piano, he's goin' to shove dat gun up yo' ass, 'n dat shit won't hurt as much.

Friday, Novemba 25, 2005

We all has our tanksgivin' stories to tell, don't we? But Let me tell yo' ass about mine today, know what I'm sayin'? Dat shit all started out at 5:30 am, know what I'm sayin'? Ah wuz all dressed in Camo wid ma case XX in ma mouth crawlin' on ma belly along a trail frequented by turkey's, man. Ah slowly crawled up to 'em 'n when da opportunity presented itself Ah lunged from underneath da brush dat wuz providin' me cova 'n took out da turkey walkin' behind, man. Ah quickly slit tha dude's throat 'n watched tha dude's blood squirt everywhere....But tha dude didnt make a sound to warn da otha turkey's n' shit. Then Ah progressively moved up until Ah had overtaken they leader, man. Dat shit wuz a swift death n' shit. Tha dude neva saw me coming n' shit. Dat shit wuz a phat day, know what I'm sayin'? 9 turkey's in ma sack 'n Ah wuz off to pluck 'em 'n roast 'em on da fire n' shit. But then Ah awoke to da sound of da alarm clock goin' off at 11:30 'n realized dat shit wuz just a dream, know what I'm sayin'? So, then dat shit wuz time fo a shower, gots dressed 'n then headed off to da grandparents fo da real thing n' shit. But Ah wuz mad disappointed because da turkey served there wuz naw where as phat as da one Ah had slaughtered in ma dream, know what I'm sayin'? But dat shit wuz phat 'n Im stuffed n' shit. Tonight Im goin' to think about money before Ah go to sleep n' shit. who knows.....

Monday, Novemba 21, 2005

How do these muthas find us?

From time to time, we get some interestin' individuals in da store n' shit. Tam 'n Alston has both previously posted on some of da things we encounta durin' da day, man. Like da muthafucka wantin' to know what .50 caliba Barrett's we had in stock, but dat tha dude wanted "one big ass enough to blow a hole so big ass through a bear, dat yo' ass could see da sun shinin' through da otha side." And then tha dude asked"Well, do yo' ass carry grenades?", man. And even sounded disappointed to find out dat we didn't, man. Sorry to ruin yo' weekend sir!
Anotha time a muthafucka called 4 times to get directions to da store, only to find out when tha dude gots there, dat tha dude had just been there da day before, know what I'm sayin'? Da fact dat tha dude showed up stoned out of tha dude's gourd might've had somethin' to do wid it, know what I'm sayin'? But, we look fo stuff like that, 'n needless to say tha dude wasn't there long 'n be now banned from da store n' shit. At least dat shit gives us stories to tell.

Friday, Novemba 18, 2005

Gun Talk

Well,lets start by tellin' yo' ass about ma small,but climbin' gun collection n' shit. Da first gun i bought wuz a Sig Saua P239 9mm, man. Da moment i held it,Ah knew dat shit had to be mine.Ive gots small hands so Ah just loved da grip on it.Ah had been out of practice shootin' when Ah gots it, 'n of course first time Ah shot dat shit Ah thought"These sights be way off!" But afta warmin' up to it, Ah could shoot pretty accurate wid it, know what I'm sayin'? Enough so, dat Ah trusted dat shit to be da gun dat Ah took to get ma HCP with, man. Ah carried dat shit fo 2 years until everyone kept tellin' me dat Ah just had to get a 1911,which brings me to da gun i carry now,my stainless Kimba Compact CDP IAh .45, man. They wuz right! Ah just love it! It be gots da beavertail safety, Meprolight night sights, amidexitrous safety,and checkered wood grips, man. Da fact dat i can carry dis one cocked 'n locked,isnt 'n all shabby either n' shit. Ammo can get expensive on a .45 tho, so Ah needed somethin' i could just plink around wid or take squirrel hunting n' shit. When a Ruga 10/22 came in da store, Ah decided to pick dat shit up, man. Dat shit wuz Mossy Oak camo, 'n already had a scope mounted on it.Not da one Ah would has probaly put on there, but it'll do, know what I'm sayin'? Ah haven't gots to shoot dat shit yet, but I'm anxious to take dat shit out, man. I'm workin' on gettin' a digital camera or gettin' ma scanna fixed,whicheva one be cheaper, but when Ah do, I'll posts some pics up.

First log on da blog

Afta listenin' to everyone at work tellin' me dat Ah needed a blog, here Ah am! Ah should tell yo' ass a little bit about myself, know what I'm sayin'? Ah work at Coal Creek Armory wid all of da otha self proclaimed merchants of death, know what I'm sayin'? Im 24 'n a single mom who enjoys shooting, camping, hunting, fishing, drive-bys....oops! Ah mean ridin' around, 'n surfin' da net n' shit. Im currently in da process of trainin' da next world class gun- totin' redneck, ma 4 year old son Chris n' shit. If Ah could eva get da work schedule to accomodate, Ah would like to go to school fo criminal justice, know what I'm sayin'? So if da higha powers of employment be readin' this, rememba dat yo' ass may be hinderin' da education 'n wastin' da mind of da next agent Starling n' shit. O.k., so enough about me fo now, man. Let's talk about guns.

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