Apathy in Action.

"Updates!" tha dude says optimistically, actually believin' dat he'll get off tha dude's arse to put somethin' new here 'mo than once every two months n' shit. Da poor fool, man. Here we chart tha dude's progress...

25/9/04 - Da old "remembers" page makes way fo da new "diversifies" page, wid da Prendergeist stuff 'n da Charlie, Uncle Nancy & Tango stuff gettin' they own pages, know what I'm sayin'? Updated da links page, too

15/3/04 - Commentin' added to da blog, man. Now yo' ass can put yo' pathetic two cents in on every damn thin' Ah say! See how Ah panda to yo' bloated egos.

7/9/03 - New Rules of Death added to da Good Shit Guide.

4/8/03 - Da Church of Fritz (as linked to on da links page, wouldn't yo' ass know it) has moved n' shit. Move wid it.

22/7/03 - Ooh -- a new color scheme! Or lack thereof, man. Da old splash screen, which served little purpose, lets da door pimpslapped dat shit on da ass on da way out.

18/7/03 - A new era begins, man. Again n' shit. New blog page, added 2003 to da Incredible Film Fest section of da Good Shit Guide, small updates to da links.

31/3/03 - " Da End" n' shit. Slightly rushed, but Ah figured if Ah left dat shit till tomorrow, no-one would believe me.., know what I'm sayin'? Tank yo' ass 'n goodnight!

26/3/03 - "Misc.", man. Gotta go - CSI's on.

19/3/03 - "War!", man. Ooh -- topical.

12/3/03 - "Ape Excuse", man. Back in a bit.

4/3/03 - "Secret Shame", know what I'm sayin'? Stop lookin' at me! STOP LOOKING AT ME!!!

24/2/03 - "Hits II" n' shit. My, but that's a lot of boldface.

19/2/03 - "Groin", man. And before muthas ask: naw -- Ah has not recently, nor ever, been victimized by athletes -- dis be just a theory of mine, know what I'm sayin'? Like da dentists one, but wid blows to da groin.

15/2/03 - "Whore", know what I'm sayin'? But 'mo importantly, Da Giraffe Goes WAP! Because dat shit fuckin' can.

8/2/03 - "Brand" n' shit. It be still 'n all freakin' hot, 'n now Ah has a head cold.

2/2/03 - "Flies", know what I'm sayin'? It be 'n all freakin' hot.

27/1/03 - "Hits", know what I'm sayin'? Don't worry -- I'm not gettin' a big ass head or anything n' shit. Da logs also show dat da majority of muthas say "wait a minute - there be naw naked pictures of Kim Catrall here" 'n bugga off.

23/1/03 - "Counter", man. If yo' ass want to reply to dis 'n be a film student (or anyone who wants to disagree wid me), first ax yourself "what would Stanley Kubrik do?" Obviously, he'd do nothing, because he's dead, know what I'm sayin'? Think about it.

14/1/03 - "XXVII", know what I'm sayin'? And at work, they gave me cake.

04/1/03 - "2K3", know what I'm sayin'? Bollocks to this, I'm goin' to bed.

26/12/02 - "Xmas", man. Yes, Ah do just like sayin' "asceticism".

17/12/02 - "Move", know what I'm sayin'? Been without Internet fo half a week, so Ah has at least a partial excuse fo why dis particular post be late, man. Hurrah!

6/12/02 - "Radio", man. At least it be not about pus.

24/11/02 - "Pus", man. Now, it be very important dat yo' ass start eatin' a big ass mouthful of food as yo' ass read this.

4/11/02 - "Remake", man. On da otha hand, if yo' ass use 640×480, you's well fucked, man. Meh.

30/10/02 - "Hammer", know what I'm sayin'? It be funny because it be true, man. By da way, da site should now be laid out a bit betta fo resolutions greata than da 800×600 Ah use at home to conserve ma failin' eyesight.

25/10/02 - "Stuff", know what I'm sayin'? Stuff be good.

14/10/02 - "Religion", know what I'm sayin'? They're gettin' fewa 'n furtha between, aren't they? If Ah felt in any way obliged to explain myself to yo' ass fucks, I'd say something.

25/9/02 - "Kylie", know what I'm sayin'? Yeah, so it be been like, three weeks since Ah put a column up, know what I'm sayin'? Bite ma arse.

8/9/02 - Here's a phat one - I've updated da Good Shit Guide wid a collection of ISFF reviews Ah wrote a while ago, some of 'em from this very site! Now that's lazy! "Efficient" - Ah meant "efficient".

4/9/02 - "Update", know what I'm sayin'? Betta put somethin' up, Ah guess *grumble grumble mutta mutta start me a feud...*

21/8/02 - "Pucca", man. Ah think I'm turnin' Japanese, Ah think I'm turnin' Japanese, Ah mad - ah fuck it, just read da post.

17/8/02 - "Garg", man. Yet anotha pet hate.

6/8/02 - "Angry" n' shit. Right, here dat shit is, ma one vaguely interestin' story about somethin' dat actually happened to me, know what I'm sayin'? Yeah, Ah know.

31/7/02 - "Music", know what I'm sayin'? Yep, a bit crap.

25/7/02 - "Filler" n' shit. If dis ain't content, why does dat shit feel so, why does dat shit feel so, why does dat shit feel so good? I'm so very, very sorry.

15/7/02 - "Inside" n' shit. Yeah well, I'm da one who had to go through it, da least yo' ass can do be be mildly nauseated.

11/7/02 - "Weather" n' shit. That's right - da world revolves around me - me dammit! Not you!! Also, a new photo of me, now wid 47% less wankyness, man. That's me in front of Lake Taupo, fo those who care.

8/7/02 - "Journal" n' shit. Ahh, I'm just jealous.

1/7/02 - A new Mr, man. Fuckin' Stupid strip, in a new format - now even lazier! Obviously, when Ah said dat last one wuz da last one ever, Ah wuz lyin' to you, man. Dat shit amused me to do so, man. Also, da link to Mutopia has been updated n' shit. Go there 'n make wid da squealing!

28/6/02 - "Hominid", know what I'm sayin'? Glad we've gots dat sorted out.

19/6/02 - "Excuses", man. Seriously - inna ear infection - I'm dizzy 'n light-headed all da time, man. Be dis how stoners feel?

10/6/02 - "Diary III" n' shit. I'll stop when dis gets boring n' shit. Don't see dat happenin' any time soon, though.

4/6/02 - "FFX", man. Ah be goin' inside 'n may be some time.

27/5/02 - "Diary II", man. So dat shit turns out da Internet be full of bad, wack people n' shit. I'll just pause fo a moment while yo' ass reel from dat shock revelation.

21/5/02 - "Winter", know what I'm sayin'? Next season: spring.

13/5/02 - "Drink" n' shit. Next week: cigarettes 'n wild, wild women.

5/5/02 - "IFF 4", know what I'm sayin'? Right, that's dat shit - all ova fo da year n' shit. I'd has written these last two up a week ago, only Ah couldn't be bothered.

29/4/02 - "Diary", know what I'm sayin'? Too phat not to mention.

27/4/02 - "IFF 3", know what I'm sayin'? Only one 'mo afta this, man. Probably.

20/4/02 - "IFF 2", man. More movies, know what I'm sayin'? And porn - everyone loves porn.

17/4/02 - "IFF 1", know what I'm sayin'? Da film festival's a-started, 'n I'm a-reviewin' n' shit. But seriously, go play wid da Customisable Mr, know what I'm sayin'? Fuckin' Stupid Page - dat shit cracks me up, mad dat shit does.

15/4/02 - I've re-written da Mr, man. Fuckin' Stupid Ultra-Customisable Hypa Page Thingy, know what I'm sayin'? Now wid JavaScript instead of frames! And a "Randomize!" button, dat quite frankly be da funniest fuckin' thin' I've eva done.

8/4/02 - "List", know what I'm sayin'? Dat shit be post-Easta 'n Ah be full of chocolate, know what I'm sayin'? Dis does things to ma higha brain functions at times.

30/3/02 - "Movies II", know what I'm sayin'? Why, Ah do believe da site has been runnin' in dis incarnation fo ova a year now! In honour of dis anniversary, Ah has done.., man. NOTHING! ABSORUTERY NOTHING! STOOPIIIID!!!

20/3/02 - "Caffeine II", man. It be back, 'n dis time it be personal, man. Sorry, permanent.

19/3/02 - Yo' ass kain't tell, but I've moved everythin' around behind da scenes, so dat everything's a bit 'mo orderly 'n organised now, know what I'm sayin'? Hurrah! Hurrah, indeed.

13/3/02 - "America", man. Yeah, it be a big ass target - that's what makes dat shit such an easy one!

6/3/02 - "Smoke", know what I'm sayin'? It be late 'n I'm tired - make up yo' own witty one-liner.

3/3/02 - "Link", man. TV be ma friend, know what I'm sayin'? Ah neva said dat shit wuz a phat friend, man. Hey - that's on to ma sixth page! Not wack fo just unda a year.

27/2/02 - "Because" n' shit. Has Ah aired Perturbed Josh on dis site yet? Ah did a bit on addict, know what I'm sayin'? He's less fun than Cynical Josh, but betta to be around than Depressive Josh.

22/2/02 - "Internet", know what I'm sayin'? Time wasting, nothin' more.

15/2/02 - "Science", man. Damn dat shit - Ah didn't notice dat da last update marked an occasion of extreme importance: ma 47th post! 47 is, as yo' ass all know, da funniest of all numbers, know what I'm sayin'? Fact.

10/2/02 - "Movies" n' shit. Movie reviews - betta than Selley's Naw More Gaps.

27/1/02 - "Scud", man. Maybe Ah should take up drinkin' - it'd be easia to explain ones like this.

21/1/02 - "Horn", know what I'm sayin'? Not rude n' shit. Not in dat way, anyway.

14/1/02 - "Birthday", know what I'm sayin'? Ah turned 26 two days ago! As a tribute to dis auspicious occasion, I've added links to all photos in da archive.

11/1/02 - "Lazy", man. Personal opinions be good, know what I'm sayin'? Ah turn 26 tomorrow!

3/1/02 - "Santa", man. Felicitations of da season 'n what.

29/12/01 - "Update", know what I'm sayin'? Also what dat shit says n' shit. In 'mo ways than one - dis means a new page to da archive also, man. Ah see yo' ass vibrate wid glee.

19/12/01 - New link, man. Dat be all.

17/12/01 - "Excuse", know what I'm sayin'? What dat shit says.

6/12/01 - "Caffeine", man. What da fuck wuz Ah thinking?

26/11/01 - "Dentist", man. Just a theory I've been workin' on fo a while now...

20/11/01 - "Panda", man. Life be good, know what I'm sayin'? Well, benign.

9/11/01 - "Lapathy", man. Makin' up words be fun!

4/11/01 - "Rabbits" n' shit. Don't make me repeat myself.

26/10/01 - "Intrinsic" - well OK, it be not just da PS2...

15/10/01 - "Patent" - bin researchin'.

8/10/01 - Naw writin' dis week - new Mr' Fuckin Stupid stuff instead!

1/10/01 - "Phone" - Ah had somethin' to put up dis week, but then Ah lost it, man. Here's somethin' else instead.

24/9/01 - "Scary Man" - just an observation, man. Go visit da brand spankin' new write Archive!

20/9/01 - "Virus", know what I'm sayin'? Yo' ass know, dis Dear Diary shit makes fo phat space filler.

17/9/01 - "Swear II" - I'm back 'n I'm pissed off, know what I'm sayin'? Or at least swearin' profusely n' shit. But Ah tend to do dat when I'm happy too, so who knows?

12/9/01 - "Kaboom" - a compellin' piece torn from today's headlines, know what I'm sayin'? And dis time Ah mean it.

4/9/01 - "Angst" - Ah be just goin' outside; Ah may freeze to death in Antarctica fo a larf instead of killin' 'n eatin' ma companions like a cleva person.

27/8/01 - Put up da final Mr n' shit. Fuckin' Stupid strip eva - a previously unpublished work (because Ah couldn't be buggered finishin' dat shit off at da time), now seein' "print" fo da first time ever! Ever!!

22/8/01 - "Tired" - a compellin' piece torn from today's headlines n' shit. Or some shit.

15/8/01 - "Evil Ape", man. So Ah wuz wanderin' around, annoyed dat Ah couldn't think of anythin' to write, when Ah remembered about da old addict.net articles Ah wuz keepin' in cold storage fo just such an occasion, know what I'm sayin'? Now seemed a phat time to thaw dis one out, what wid da new movie 'n all.

11/8/01 - "Trick", man. Ooh - dat wuz 'mo than a week, dat was, man. Be dis da start of a slide into irregularity 'n decay? Or be it, um, not?

31/7/01 - "Strange", know what I'm sayin'? Anotha turn fo da autobiographical.

24/7/01 - "Violent", know what I'm sayin'? Added a bit of Neal Stephenson to da Warren Ellis 'n dis be what came out, know what I'm sayin'? Yeah, Ah wuz expectin' dat shit be better, too, man. Still, dat shit has a haiku! Haiku be good.

19/7/01 - "Funny", man. Onto a new write page, movin' da old stuff back one, man. Truncated dis page a bit too.

Da Before Time - best not to think about dat shit really.