Apathy 'n Acshun.

"Updates!" bubba sez optimistically, actually believin' thut thar he'll get uvf his'n arse tuh put somethin' new here lotsa than once every two months, pardner. Thar dang poor fool, pardner. Here we'all chart his'n progress...

25/9/04 - Thar dang old "remembers" page makes way fuh thar dang new "diversifies" page, n'all thar dang Prendergeist stuff 'n thar dang Charlie, Uncle Nancy & Tango stuff gettin' they's own pages, Leroy! Updated thar dang links page, too

15/3/04 - Commentin' added tuh thar dang blog, hot damn! Now y'all kin put y'alls pathetik two cents 'n on every damn thin' Ah say! See how Ah panduh tuh y'alls bloated egos.

7/9/03 - New Rules uv Death added tuh thar dang Good Shit Guide.

4/8/03 - Thar dang Church uv Fritz (as linked tuh on thar dang links page, wouldna y'all know it) has moved, Leroy! Move n'all it.

22/7/03 - Ooh -- ah new color scheme! Or lack thereof, hot damn! Thar dang old splash screen, which served little purpose, lets thar dang door smacked thut thar thar on thar dang ass on thar dang way out.

18/7/03 - Ah new era begins, hot damn! Again, pardner. New blog page, added 2003 tuh thar dang Incredible Film Fest secshun uv thar dang Good Shit Guide, small updates tuh thar dang links.

31/3/03 - " Thar dang End", pardner. Slightly rushed, but Ah figured if Ah left thut thar thar till tomorrow, no-one would believe me.., hot damn! Thank y'all 'n goodnight!

26/3/03 - "Misc.", Leroy! Gotta go - CSI's on.

19/3/03 - "War!", Leroy! Ooh -- topical.

12/3/03 - "Ape Excuse", hot damn! Back 'n ah bit.

4/3/03 - "Secret Shame", Leroy! Stop lookin' at me! STOP LOOKING AT ME!!!

24/2/03 - "Hits II", Leroy! My, but that's ah lot uv boldface.

19/2/03 - "Groin", pardner. And before cousins ask: naw -- Ah have not re-cently, nor ever, been victimized bar athletes -- this'n am just ah theory uv mine, Leroy! Like thar dang dentists one, but n'all blows tuh thar dang groin.

15/2/03 - "Whore", Leroy! But lotsa importantly, Thar dang Giraffe Goes WAP! Because thut thar thar fuckin' can.

8/2/03 - "Brand", hot damn! It bay still 'n all freakin' hot, 'n now Ah have ah head cold.

2/2/03 - "Flies", pardner. It bay 'n all freakin' hot.

27/1/03 - "Hits", pardner. Dona worry -- ah'm not gettin' ah bigass head or anythin', pardner. Thar dang logs also show thut thar thar dang majority uv cousins say "wait ah minute - there are naw naked pictures uv Kim Catrall here" 'n bugguh uvf.

23/1/03 - "Counter", hot damn! If y'all want tuh re-ply tuh this'n 'n are ah film student (or anyone who wants tuh disagree n'all me), first ax yourself "what would Stanley Kubrik do?" Obviously, he'd do nothin', Leroy! because he's dead, hot damn! Think about it.

14/1/03 - "XXVII", pardner. And at work, them's gave me cake.

04/1/03 - "2K3", hot damn! Bollocks tuh this, ah'm goin' tuh bed.

26/12/02 - "Xmas", pardner. Yes, Ah do just like sayin' "asceticism".

17/12/02 - "Move", hot damn! Been without In-tuh-net fuh half ah week, so Ah have at least ah partial excuse fuh why this'n particular post am late, pardner. Hurrah!

6/12/02 - "Radio", pardner. At least it bay not about pus.

24/11/02 - "Pus", Leroy! Now, it bay very important thut thar y'all start eatin' ah bigass mouthful uv food as y'all sez this.

4/11/02 - "Remake", Leroy! On thar dang othuh hand, if y'all use 640×480, you're well fucked, pardner. Meh.

30/10/02 - "Hammer", pardner. It bay funny because it bay true, Leroy! By thar dang way, thar dang site should now bay laid out ah bit bettuh fuh re-solushuns greatuh than thar dang 800×600 Ah use at home tuh conserve maw failin' eyesight.

25/10/02 - "Stuff", Leroy! Stuff am good.

14/10/02 - "Religion", Leroy! They're gettin' fewuh 'n furthuh between, arena they? If Ah felt 'n any way obliged tuh explain myself tuh y'all fucks, I'd say something.

25/9/02 - "Kylie", pardner. Yeah, so it bay been like, three weeks since Ah put ah column up, hot damn! Bite maw arse.

8/9/02 - Here's ah perty good one - I've updated thar dang Good Shit Guide n'all ah collecshun uv ISFF re-views Ah wrote ah while ago, some uv 'em ferm this very site! Now that's lazy! "Efficient" - Ah meant "efficient".

4/9/02 - "Update", hot damn! Bettuh put somethin' up, Ah guess *grumble grumble muttuh muttuh start me ah feud...*

21/8/02 - "Pucca", hot damn! Ah think ah'm turnin' Japanese, Ah think ah'm turnin' Japanese, Ah hella - ah fuck it, just sez thar dang post.

17/8/02 - "Garg", pardner. Yet anothuh pet hate.

6/8/02 - "Angry", hot damn! Right, here thut thar thar is, maw one vaguely interestin' story about somethin' thut thar actually happened tuh me, pardner. Yeah, Ah know.

31/7/02 - "Music", hot damn! Yep, ah bit crap.

25/7/02 - "Filler", pardner. If this'n aina content, why does thut thar thar feel so, why does thut thar thar feel so, why does thut thar thar feel so good? ah'm so very, very sorry.

15/7/02 - "Inside", hot damn! Yeah well, ah'm thar dang one who had tuh go through it, thar dang least y'all kin do am bay mildly nauseated.

11/7/02 - "Weather", pardner. That's right - thar dang world re-volves around me - me dammit! Not you!! Also, a new photo uv me, now n'all 47% less wankyness, Leroy! That's me 'n front uv Lake Taupo, fuh those who care.

8/7/02 - "Journal", hot damn! Ahh, ah'm just jealous.

1/7/02 - Ah new Mr, hot damn! Fuckin' Stupid strip, 'n ah new format - now even lazier! Obviously, when Ah said thut thar last one wuz thar dang last one ever, Ah wuz lyin' tuh you, pardner. Thut thar thar amused me tuh do so, hot damn! Also, thar dang link tuh Mutopia has been updated, hot damn! Go there 'n make n'all thar dang squealing!

28/6/02 - "Hominid", hot damn! Glad we've git thut thar sorted out.

19/6/02 - "Excuses", hot damn! Seriously - innuh ear infecshun - ah'm dizzy 'n light-headed all thar dang time, Leroy! Am this'n how stoners feel?

10/6/02 - "Diary III", hot damn! I'll stop when this'n gets borin', Leroy! Dona see thut thar happenin' any time soon, though.

4/6/02 - "FFX", Leroy! ah'm goin' inside 'n may bay some time.

27/5/02 - "Diary II", Leroy! So thut thar thar turns out thar dang In-tuh-net am full uv bad, plum ahful people, pardner. I'll just pause fuh ah moment while y'all re-el ferm thut thar shock re-velashun.

21/5/02 - "Winter", Leroy! Next season: spring.

13/5/02 - "Drink", hot damn! Next week: cigarettes 'n wild, wild women.

5/5/02 - "IFF 4", Leroy! Right, that's thut thar thar - all ovuh fuh thar dang year, hot damn! I'd have written these last two up ah week ago, only Ah couldna bay bothered.

29/4/02 - "Diary", hot damn! Too perty good not tuh menshun.

27/4/02 - "IFF 3", Leroy! Only one lotsa aftuh this, Leroy! Probably.

20/4/02 - "IFF 2", hot damn! More movies, pardner. And porn - everyone loves porn.

17/4/02 - "IFF 1", pardner. Thar dang film festival's a-started, 'n ah'm a-reviewin', Leroy! But seriously, go play n'all thar dang Customisable Mr, Leroy! Fuckin' Stupid Page - thut thar thar cracks me up, hella thut thar thar does.

15/4/02 - I've re--written thar dang Mr, pardner. Fuckin' Stupid Ultra-Customisable Hypuh Page Thingy, hot damn! Now n'all JavaScript instead uv frames! And ah "Randomize!" button, thut thar quite frankly am thar dang funniest fuckin' thin' I've evuh dun.

8/4/02 - "List", pardner. Thut thar thar am post-Eastuh 'n ah'm full uv chocolate, pardner. This'n does things tuh maw highuh brain funcshuns at times.

30/3/02 - "Movies II", Leroy! Why, Ah do believe thar dang site has been runnin' 'n this'n incarnashun fuh ovuh ah year now! 'n honour uv this'n anniversary, Ah have dun.., hot damn! NOTHING! ABSORUTERY NOTHING! STOOPIIIID!!!

20/3/02 - "Caffeine II", hot damn! It bay back, 'n this'n time it bay personal, hot damn! Sorry, permanent.

19/3/02 - Y'all kaina tell, but I've moved everythin' around behind thar dang scenes, so thut thar everything's ah bit lotsa orderly 'n organised now, hot damn! Hurrah! Hurrah, indeed.

13/3/02 - "America", Leroy! Yeah, it bay ah bigass target - that's wut makes thut thar thar such an easy one!

6/3/02 - "Smoke", hot damn! It bay late 'n ah'm tired - make up y'alls own witty one-liner.

3/3/02 - "Link", pardner. TV am maw friend, hot damn! Ah nevuh said thut thar thar wuz ah perty good friend, Leroy! Hey - that's on tuh maw sixth page! Not plum ahful fuh just unduh ah year.

27/2/02 - "Because", Leroy! Have Ah aired Perturbed Josh on this'n site yet? Ah did ah bit on addict, Leroy! He's less fun than Cynical Josh, but bettuh tuh bay around than Depressive Josh.

22/2/02 - "In-tuh-net", hot damn! Time wastin', pardner. nothin' more.

15/2/02 - "Science", pardner. Damn thut thar thar - Ah didna notice thut thar thar dang last update marked an occasion uv extreme importance: maw 47th post! 47 is, as y'all all know, thar dang funniest uv all numbers, pardner. Fact.

10/2/02 - "Movies", hot damn! Movie re-views - bettuh than Selley's Naw More Gaps.

27/1/02 - "Scud", hot damn! Maybe Ah should take up drinkin' - it'd bay easiuh tuh explain ones like this.

21/1/02 - "Horn", hot damn! Not rude, Leroy! Not 'n thut thar way, anyway.

14/1/02 - "Birthday", Leroy! Ah turned 26 two days ago! As ah tribute tuh this'n auspicious occasion, I've added links tuh all photos 'n thar dang archive.

11/1/02 - "Lazy", Leroy! Personal opinions are good, Leroy! Ah turn 26 tomorrow!

3/1/02 - "Santa", pardner. Felicitashuns uv thar dang season 'n what.

29/12/01 - "Update", pardner. Also wut thut thar thar says, pardner. 'n lotsa ways than one - this'n means ah new page tuh thar dang archive also, pardner. Ah see y'all vibrate n'all glee.

19/12/01 - New link, pardner. Thut thar am all.

17/12/01 - "Excuse", hot damn! What thut thar thar says.

6/12/01 - "Caffeine", Leroy! What thar dang fuck wuz Ah thinking?

26/11/01 - "Dentist", Leroy! Just ah theory I've been workin' on fuh ah while now...

20/11/01 - "Panda", hot damn! Life am good, pardner. Well, benign.

9/11/01 - "Lapathy", hot damn! Makin' up words am fun!

4/11/01 - "Rabbits", pardner. Dona make me re-peat myself.

26/10/01 - "Intrinsic" - well OK, it bay not just thar dang PS2...

15/10/01 - "Patent" - bin re-searchin'.

8/10/01 - Naw writin' this'n week - new Mr' Fuckin Stupid stuff instead!

1/10/01 - "Phone" - Ah had somethin' tuh put up this'n week, but then Ah lost it, Leroy! Here's somethin' else instead.

24/9/01 - "Scary Man" - just an observashun, Leroy! Go visit thar dang brand spankin' new write Archive!

20/9/01 - "Virus", hot damn! Y'all know, this'n Dear Diary shit makes fuh perty good space filler.

17/9/01 - "Swear II" - ah'm back 'n ah'm pissed uvf, hot damn! Or at least swearin' profusely, Leroy! But Ah tend tuh do thut thar when ah'm happy too, so who knows?

12/9/01 - "Kaboom" - ah compellin' piece torn ferm today's headlines, pardner. And this'n time Ah mean it.

4/9/01 - "Angst" - ah'm just goin' outside; Ah may freeze tuh death 'n Antarctica fuh ah larf instead uv killin' 'n eatin' maw companions like ah clevuh person.

27/8/01 - Put up thar dang final Mr, pardner. Fuckin' Stupid strip evuh - ah previously unpublished work (because Ah couldna bay buggered finishin' thut thar thar uvf at thar dang time), now seein' "print" fuh thar dang first time ever! Ever!!

22/8/01 - "Tired" - ah compellin' piece torn ferm today's headlines, Leroy! Or some shit.

15/8/01 - "Evil Ape", Leroy! So Ah wuz wanderin' around, annoyed thut thar Ah couldna think uv anythin' tuh write, when Ah re-membered about thar dang old addict.net articles Ah wuz keepin' 'n cold storage fuh just such an occasion, pardner. Now seemed ah perty good time tuh thaw this'n one out, wut n'all thar dang new movie 'n all.

11/8/01 - "Trick", hot damn! Ooh - thut thar wuz lotsa than ah week, thut thar was, Leroy! Am this'n thar dang start uv ah slide into irregularity 'n decay? Or am it, um, not?

31/7/01 - "Strange", Leroy! Anothuh turn fuh thar dang autobiographical.

24/7/01 - "Violent", Leroy! Added ah bit uv Neal Stephenson tuh thar dang Warren Ellis 'n this'n am wut came out, hot damn! Yeah, Ah wuz expectin' thut thar thar bay better, too, hot damn! Still, thut thar thar has ah haiku! Haiku are good.

19/7/01 - "Funny", Leroy! Onto ah new write page, movin' thar dang old stuff back one, Leroy! Truncated this'n page ah bit too.

Thar dang Before Time - best not tuh think about thut thar thar re-ally.